We are home from our hospital stay. The EEG did not look good. It seems like Lydia is having seizures nearly every two minutes. Most of them are small, unnoticeable to us. She even has them while she’s sleeping. I have not talked to the neurologist yet so perhaps there is a different interpretation. But the doctor did say her seizure activity is “severe.” I stared at the EEG screen a lot while we were in the hospital.

They tried loading her up with an IV of Keppra. It did not help her seizures. They tried an IV of Phenobarbital. It made her very sleepy, as I posted about before. The sleepiness seems to lower her clinical/observable seizures but had little effect on her sub-clinical/more subtle seizures. They recommended upping her dose of phenobarbital at home so we are back to lots of drowsiness.

I imagine most of her seizures are a bit like ‘spacing out’ where you aren’t thinking much of anything or like when you suddenly forget what you were saying and lose your train of thought. The bigger, clinical seizures are sometimes preceded and followed by crying so perhaps she has a headache or some discomfort with those. I’m not sure. I’ve read that a person can see halos around lights, smell strange smells and or get the feeling of a cold wind before a seizure. No wonder she hates breezes.

Seizures can slow development because they equate to missing time. Missing time interacting, learning, growing…Actually I am making this up. It is just how I imagine it. If I were zonking out every few minutes with a seizure, I think I’d be too busy doing that to focus on much of anything else.

My story is that she is literally time-traveling for a few moments. She is popping into one of her other lives in which she has some unresolved business and it keeps pulling her back. She is searching for a childhood friend whose affection she had refused until war necessitated their temporary separation and only then she realized her true and deep love for him. How will she find him? Is it too late? Lydia is actually living at normal speed, but to us and in the other world it appears she is moving very slowly because she is living across multiple times, in multiple lives.

She does check in on us. And when she does, she smiles. And that is more and more a miracle to me.