I’m sorry. I’m doing my best to stay positive but this just sucks. I mean, she should’ve had a chance at a full-life and it isn’t fair. I know, ‘life isn’t fair.’ But I can barely leave the house it makes me so crazy to see the broad range of self-entitled wadholes that have the blessing of a fully-developed brain. Lydia’s was so close. I find myself imagining her in utero during the early formation of her brain and thinking ‘go on cells, you can do it, just a little more!’ She was so close. So close to being here. It’s not fair. She might have a wadhole too I suppose. Actually that thought is somehow more comforting, more real than her being a dancer or a doctor. I would have loved to see her have a chance at being self-entitled, to be a big jerk, to play her music too loud and to sneak cigarettes behind the school dumpster. She would have been a great jerk. The best. My girl.